30 Day Challenges Letter, Picture, and Music Day 1

#30daychallenge Check out the Original Post with all the details for the challenge here.

Day 1 

Letter:   Write a letter to your best friend...

I can't really say I have one truly best friend. What I can say is that this person is made up from a collection of people that in my mind they all make up one person :-) Apart of me wishes that there was that one person that could represent this unit as a whole. But to those of you I hold dear I just want to thank you for everything. Thank you for being the shoulder I needed to cry on. Thank you for the never closing ear. Thank you for telling me to snap out of it when I had my head in the clouds. Thank you for allowing me to trust again. Thank you for being present when I was distant. Without you I'm not sure where I would be in life. I can remember many times when I didn't  believe in myself and you gave me the push I needed. Thank you for allowing me to be 100% me without judgement or prosecution. Over the years I have come to love and respect all of you and it's because of you that I am me. I will forever be grateful for the person that you are and I couldn't ask or want for anything more than you. You are my inspiration, my foundation, and progression. I would like to think we compliment each other and at times I think I don't deserve you. I will always be here for you as you were for me. I see us growing old together and continuing to push each other to the limits and beyond. All I hope is for you to continue to be you, as I will continue to be me and together we will take over the world. I love you dearly.

-Mo

Picture:  You...

This is me at work at 5:30am. Can you tell I'm sick and that my nose is running like a leaking facet?

Music:  Your favorite Song...

My favorite song is Miles Davis' "Blue in Green", It's doesn't matter how I am feeling this song has a way to bring out all of my emotions at the moment. Its something about his horn when it first comes on and the combination of it with the piano that sends shock waves up my body.

Projects...30 Day Challenges...

Today I went over to my friend B. Fly's blog http://bflybelton.blogspot.com and noticed that she was still working on her 30 Letter Writing Challenge. From the beginning I thought it would be something great to go through. I figured I will learn somethings about myself and those around me but I never got around to doing so. So I have decided to dive head first. Not only will I do the 30 day letter challenge I will also do a 30 picture challenge and a 30 music challenge. I hope you enjoy what goes on in my head though letters, music and pictures.

**I won't go crazy and do 3 different post in one day, but I will post all 3 challenges in one post titled 30 Day Challenges Letter, Music, Picture Day (X)...


30 Days of Letter Writing Challenge... 

WRITE A LETTER TO THESE PEOPLE :

Day 1 — Your Best Friend
Day 2 — Your Crush
Day 3 — Your parents
Day 4 — Your sibling (or closest relative)
Day 5 — Your dreams
Day 6 — A stranger
Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush
Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend
Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet
Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to
Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to
Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you
Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from
Day 15 — The person you miss the most
Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country
Day 17 — Someone from your childhood
Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be
Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad
Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest
Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression
Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to
Day 23 — The last person you kissed
Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory
Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times
Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to
Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day
Day 28 — Someone that changed your life
Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to
Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror

30 Day Picture Challenge...


Day 1 - You
Day 2 - What I Wore
Day 3 - Clouds
Day 4 - Favorite Color
Day 5 - Someone I Love
Day 6 - Childhood Memory
Day 7 - Favorite
Day 8 - Technology
Day 9 - Faceless Self Portrait
Day 10 - Something I Made
Day 11 - Something Fun
Day 12 - Close Up
Day 13 - Something Old
Day 14 - Flowers
Day 15 - My Shoes
Day 16 - What I Ate
Day 17 - Water
Day 18 - In My Bag
Day 19 - Where I Slept
Day 20 - What I Read
Day 21 - Reflection
Day 22 - Guilty Pleasure
Day 23 - Sunrise
Day 24 - A Smile
Day 25 - Sunflower
Day 26 - Something Old
Day 27 - Lunch
Day 28 - Daily Routine
Day 29 - In Motion
Day 30 - You, Again

30 Day Music Challenge

Day 1 - Your Favorite Song
Day 2 - Your Least Favorite Song
Day 3 - A Song That Makes You Happy
Day 4 - A Song That Makes You Sad
Day 5 - A Song That Reminds You of Someone
Day 6 - A Song That Reminds You of Somewhere
Day 7 - A Song That Reminds You of a Certain Event
Day 8 - A Song You  Know All the Words To
Day 9 -  A Song That You Can Dance To
Day 10 - A Song That Makes You Fall Asleep
Day 11 - A Song From You Favorite Band
Day 12 - A Song From a Ban You Hate
Day 13 - A Song That is a Guilty Pleasure
Day 14 - A Song That No One Would Expect you to Love
Day 15 - A Song That Describes You
Day 16 - A Song That You Used to Love but Now Hate
Day 17 - A Song That You Hear Often on the Radio
Day 18 - A Song You Wish You Heard on the Radio
Day 19 - A Song From Your Favorite Album
Day 20 - A Song That You Listen to When You're Angry
Day 21 - A Song You Listen to When You're Happy
Day 22 - A Song That You Listen to When You're Sad
Day 23 - A Song That You Want to Play at Your Wedding
Day 24 - A Song That You Want to Play at You're Funeral
Day 25 - A Song That Makes You Laugh
Day 26 - A Song You Can Play on a Instrument
Day 27 - A Song You Wish You Could Play
Day 28 - A Song That Makes You Feel Guilty
Day 29 - A Song From Your Childhood
Day 30 Your Favorite Song at This Time Last Year

ENJOY!!!

Love...

The following Post was from a question I answered regarding love and the use/meaning of it...

Love can be a very misleading word when it is not being used how you feel it should be used. Love comes in layers that we both build upon and take away. When it comes to our relationships with each other and the amounts of love we have for ...each, it can be interpreted in many different ways. People come into our lives for reason, seasons and lifetimes, and I may love you differently throughout that time. Sometimes our heart and brain don’t align and the purpose I “want” you to have in my life is not what I “need” in my life. Our definition of love and how it feels to us changes daily. What I love you for today is something I may hete you for tomorrow, its just apart of our growing process. Love and it’s meaning in our life will continue to be an individual thought and feeling until you come across someone that has the same “value” of love that you do. If you think love is red and feels blue and I think love is blue but feels red it shows that how we see it what and it feels like are two different things. I once had a guy tell me he loved me after our third date and I ran like hell. He was telling me all the things he thought I wanted to hear ignoring the fact that I wasn’t impressed by anything we was tell me or bring to the table. His value of the word love differed from my value of the word love.

Maybe...

it's funny how something so superficial to some becomes everything to others!

Maybe it's the way you looked at me that had me stuck in a trance. Or it could have been how you held my hand gently as we walked for what seemed like forever. It could have been how you said hello, but what I do know is that I'm hooked. It may have been how you said my name or how you held my glace. It could have been the way you placed your finger nails that become your hand on the small of my back, but what I do know is that you have me thinking about the possibilities to come. It could have been the way you catered to my needs, or how you ignored me at the right times. Or maybe it was how attentive you were and knowing that you cared. Maybe it was your product placement and your presentation of it all, but what I do know is that you had me at hello, I'm great, and bye. It could have been how you made me feel so wanted that all I could do was think about every moment with you. Or maybe it was the way you exuded joy from your soul, and how you make other's feel. It could have been the way you allowed me to be there at every moment, or the lingering of a kiss that never happened. But clearly you have me at the moment thinking about you at every given chance.

It's something about you that makes me want more, to be apart of your life even it's it just for hello's. I'm trying to find peace with it all trying to find a way to make it all come together. A part of me wonder's if it's all in my head. It could have been that I let my imagination get the best. I keep wondering if you wanted me as much as I wanted you, and if it was for more than just one night. When you cross my mind there's a smile on my face, and it brings me pleasure to know your the subject of that joy. I find it hard to look at you the same. I can't seem to look at you as the person I saw before, I only see those moment's as if they're caught in time. I keep wondering if it's the same for you. I find it hard to be this caught up in someone without and inch of return. You weren't who I was looking for, but then again I wasn't looking. This experience came out of left field and threw me a curve ball.

It's funny how one person can throw your life in shambles without even knowing. How their presence alone can hook you from hello. Maybe it's for the better. But who knows what tomorrow may bring. Just maybe you know, it could have been. At the end of the day I just to say thank you, for allowing me to see more than what was and what could have been. Maybe that's what I needed in order to move along with life. Just know that you're the cause to the to smile that's really bright. All I know is that I'm hooked forever and a day from the moment I saw you, and said hello, I'm great, and bye!

You + Me = Zero

You + Me = Zero, or Me + You = Zero, either way it goes no where! It comes a point in life when we have to sit back and say I am more important to me than I thought I was. We have to allow our self the respect we deserve and no one can give it to you but you. I for one fall in this situation to often to many. Any glimmer of kindness sends me into a head over hills infatuated state. Maybe it's the lack of positive attention that does it for me. It seems that most times the bad out weighs the good in my situations. Or maybe it's because I secretly know that you are unattainable. I try not to let that hinder or influence my thoughts but obviously that's not the case. It's easy for us to fall for the guy that's not right for you. The guy that only gives you attention after the sun goes down. Or the one you have the hots for that lives more than 600 miles away. You have the guy that only contact's you when returning your communication. And so on and so one. The list can continue and with each scenario you will find someone on the other end wishing for more. But at the end of the day without a equal conclusion on where were going you + me will always be zero.

**Not sure where I was going with this. How I started was not how I wanted to end. But I'm sharing it anyways because this is where my mind took me.

Personal Responsibility

At what point in our lives do we begin to take personal responsibility of what's going on with our given situation? When do we have that moment when we say, "you know what I did that and I take full responsibility for what happened". For some of us it happens when we are kids. For others it never happens. I wonder what happens in our upbringing that shapes when and if we have this "epiphany". I've been thinking lately about how I deal with most situations. I'm usually that person that takes the burden of all my situations personal and directly. I may have only said hi to someone, but will say "well you did decide to walk into that room". It's funny how I've put so much pressure on myself to try and understand everything around me. I sometimes think, what if I didn't internalize everything, would I be a different person. And the answer to that would be YES, but would it make me a better person or would I just be one of the people I roll my eye's at and say, "well what did you do to lead to this problem". Now, would I like who I am if I had these difference's, yes an no. There is something about just doing that personally appeals to me. To be able to jump head first without thinking about what's next makes my heart flutter. Sometimes I envy those that don't think about their actions, but then again I am who I am and I accept that. With every thought, plan, and consequence negative or positive, I can always say I took the responsibility to get to this point. And I fully understand my part even if I don't acknowledge everything else.

Domestic Violence Awareness

A lot of people don't know that October is also Domestic Violence Awareness Month. I think that all of us at one point in our lives have experienced some form Domestic Violence. Rather is was physical, verbal, or emotional we have all suffered from the hands or words of others. And if you haven't seen it first hand as an experience of yours I'm positive you know someone personally that has, and at the end of the day you're effected by that also. It seems that some people think Domestic Violence is something that only women suffer from but men as well have the same problem. The rates my not be the same but none the less it's the SAME thing.

So in honor of Domestic Violence Awareness I've gather some information to share with you via National Coalition Against Domestic Violence and the Hotline.

What is Domestic Violence:

Domestic violence can be defined as a pattern of behavior in any relationship that is used to gain or maintain power and control over an intimate partner. Abuse is physical, sexual, emotional, economic or psychological actions or threats of actions that influence another person. This includes any behaviors that frighten, intimidate, terrorize, manipulate, hurt, humiliate, blame, injure or wound someone. Domestic violence can happen to anyone of any race, age, sexual orientation, religion or gender. It can happen to couples who are married, living together or who are dating. Domestic violence affects people of all socioeconomic backgrounds and education levels.

You may be in an emotionally abusive relationship if your partner:

Calls you names, insults you or continually criticizes you.
Does not trust you and acts jealous or possessive.
Tries to isolate you from family or friends.
Monitors where you go, who you call and who you spend time with.
Does not want you to work.
Controls finances or refuses to share money.
Punishes you by withholding affection.
Expects you to ask permission.
Threatens to hurt you, the children, your family or your pets.
Humiliates you in any way.

You may be in a physically abusive relationship if your partner has ever:


Damaged property when angry (thrown objects, punched walls, kicked doors, etc.).
Pushed, slapped, bitten, kicked or choked you.
Abandoned you in a dangerous or unfamiliar place.
Scared you by driving recklessly.
Used a weapon to threaten or hurt you.
Forced you to leave your home.
Trapped you in your home or kept you from leaving.
Prevented you from calling police or seeking medical attention.
Hurt your children.
Used physical force in sexual situations.

You may be in a sexually abusive relationship if your partner:


Views women as objects and believes in rigid gender roles.
Accuses you of cheating or is often jealous of your outside relationships.
Wants you to dress in a sexual way.
Insults you in sexual ways or calls you sexual names.
Has ever forced or manipulated you into to having sex or performing sexual acts.
Held you down during sex.
Demanded sex when you were sick, tired or after beating you.
Hurt you with weapons or objects during sex.
Involved other people in sexual activities with you.
Ignored your feelings regarding sex.




 What is Battering?

• Battering is a pattern of behavior used to establish power and control over another person with whom an intimate relationship is or has been shared through fear and intimidation, often including the threat or use of violence. Battering happens when one person believes that they are entitled to control another.

 Who is battered?

• In all cultures, batterers are most commonly male. Rural and urban women of all religious, ethnic, socio-economic and educational backgrounds, and of varying ages, physical abilities and lifestyles can be affected by domestic violence. There is not a typical woman who will be battered - the risk factor is being born female.
• Heterosexual males may also be victims of domestic violence as perpetrated by their female partners. They experience the same dynamics of interpersonal violence as female victims including experiences of disbelief, ridicule and shame that only enhance their silence.

For more information please visit these websites:

National Coalition Against Domestic Violence

National Resource Center on Domestic Violence 

The Hotline

The Domestic Violence Awareness Project  

If you are in danger, please call 911, your local hotline, or (in the U.S.) the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233).

Breast Cancer Awareness

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. As some of you know this cause is very personal to me. I lost my grandmother to Brest Cancer in 1998. She was diagnosed in 1995, had surgery, went thorough chemo and radiation. Was told everything was okay three years later we learned it metastasized to her spleen, liver, and all over. In addition my grandmother's sister is currently fighting breast and bone cancer. She had a mastectomy last month. I had my first ultra sound a year ago after my doctor found a lump on my right breast during my annul appointment. Although everything was okay, it was fight to get my insurance company to pay for it. My doctor originally wanted to do a mammogram. I can remember for years asking my doctors to test me, in which they would reply it's not a immediate concern because it was your grandmother not your mother. Please don't take that answer from your doctors. Demand that they test you and fight your insurance companies to pay for it. Early detection can determine and save your life.




 




  Here is some general information regarding Breast Cancer that I got from the National Breast Cancer Foundation.

Breast cancer is a disease in which malignant (cancer) cells form in the tissues of the breast. It is considered a heterogeneous disease—differing by individual, age group, and even the kinds of cells within the tumors themselves. Obviously no woman wants to receive this diagnosis, but hearing the words “breast cancer” doesn’t always mean an end. It can be the beginning of learning how to fight, getting the facts, and finding hope.

Women in the United States get breast cancer more than any other type of cancer except for skin cancer. It is second only to lung cancer as a cause of cancer death in women.

Each year it is estimated that nearly 200,000 women will be diagnosed with breast cancer and more than 40,000 will die. Approximately 1,700 men will also be diagnosed with breast cancer and 450 will die each year. The evaluation of men with breast masses is similar to that in women, including mammography.

Generally, early breast cancer does not cause pain. Even so, a woman should see her health care provider about breast pain or any other breast cancer symptoms that do not go away.







Common signs & symptoms of breast cancer include:

• A change in how the breast or nipple feels.

• You may experience nipple tenderness or notice a lump or thickening in or near the breast or in the underarm area.

• A change in how the breast or nipple look.

• This could mean a change in the size or shape of the breast or a nipple that is turned slightly inward. In addition, the skin of the breast, areola or nipple may appear scaly, red or swollen or may have ridges or pitting that resembles the skin of an orange.

• Nipple discharge.

For more information please visit these websites:

American Cancer Society

National Breast Cancer Foundation

Sisters Network Inc.

Susan G. Komen for the Cure

Y-Me Breast Cancer Support and Awareness

This is what LUST sounds like...

"Imagination"
[Intro:]
There are so many things we can do.
You can taste you can touch you can make moves.
Just use your imagination.
You are creation.

[Hook:]

There are so many things that we can do.
Use your imagination.
You can taste, you can touch, you can make moves.
Use you imagination.
Use you imagination.
[Verse 1:]

Close your eyes.
Let your expectations fade.
I’m your favorite memory.
Remember me.
Never again have you felt this way.
Lets improvise.
If you know how baby.
I can be you everything.

[B-sec:]

If you can’t recall,
I can show you who you are.
I see you.
I see your empire.
I see you so much higher.
It’s time to grow baby.
Use your imagination.
[Hook:]

[Verse 2:]

Open your mind,
Let your knowingness free.
I’m your favorite melody.
Listen to me.
Inside me is the universe.
Lets explore.
Searching for evidence,
Of a higher life force.
[B-sec:]

If you can’t recall,
I can show you who you are.
I see who you are.
I see you.
So let me nurture your reality.
It’s time grow baby.
Use your imagination.
[Hook:]
[Bridge:]

It’s all perception my love.
All is how we read it.
We are more than we think.
Do you see?
I am of the All,
And the All is of me.
Imagine that,
Now Be.
Be.
[Outro:]

Use your imagination [repeat]

Today's reflection...

Today I woke up with a heavy heart. Someone was on my mind and I realized this person was not whom I perceived them to be. It was heartbreaking to know that I gave and gave and this person took and took only to walk way as if it was nothing. As I grow as a person I give a little more each time, but situations like this take me back to hardened person I once was. I understand that although people change, small elements of them remain the same, and sometimes when you least expect it you find that they were never the person you perceived them to be. Today this was my realization. It came at confusing time but understand it's a process of life. I secretly wish things could have stayed as they were with you being my confidant, but that would not have been fair to either of us, and in the end I would have hurt worst tomorrow than I do today.

P.S. Please understand that the title of this blog is Mo's Conundrum (...taking a journey through life, attempting to fit all the pieces of this puzzle together...) I don't have it figured out. I'm not perfect it. I'm human with different emtions that run through my head on the daily basis. I take it day by day and on some days I chose to write about it...